The best Donald Trump joke you have heard

A lot of great jokes have been shared here but I am planning to share something different. It is a joke on what Trump said in real life rather than a joke on him.

A while back, Trump tweeted something about Pakistan being given US 33 billion.


People all over the world, especially Pakistanis replied and it created quite a buzz. In response to Trump’s tweet, a Pakistani commentator Junaid Akram posted a video which was also an ad for a digital wallet service. The monologue was funny not because it was a response to Trump but more because it was a commentary on the culture of Pakistan and South Asia in general.

Hey guys, how are you all? Before you download the **** (App Name), I thought of Trump who was talking about returning the money. It made me wonder what kind of people is he expecting the money back from.

We put a straw into the bone to suck out the marrow, we don’t even let that go waste and he thinks we will give him back 33 billion dollars?

Behind me, there is a chair that I bought in August and its January now but I am not ready to peel off the plastic. We have collected all kinds of junk in our houses. We will give back 33 billion dollars?

In our kitchens, we have a big plastic bag whose only job is that we keep putting more plastic bags into it. We are not ready to throw that away. The kitchen sink tap has 1200 rubber bands hanging around it. It looks like its getting married in night with all the garlands around its neck. We are not ready to throw away rubber bands and he thinks we will give him back 33 billion dollars?

Once a year in all our homes, we get an ice cream tub. Have never seen it with ice cream inside, have only seen Dal (lentil dish) stuck in it, which we use hammers to break before eating all year. Around Eid time, we take out the Dal and put in Khorma (mutton dish) then send it to one Aunt who then takes out the Khorma and puts in Kheer (Dessert), then sends it to another Aunt.

Even the ice cream box wonders “what sort of family have I landed in? They keep circulating me in the family and dont want to throw me away. What sort of people are these? “

We will give him 33 billion dollars?

That box of toffee and biscuits we have in our homes. I have never seen toffee or biscuits in it. The only thing I have seen in it are needles, thread rolls and other stitching materials. We have kept all these boxes at home and he thinks we will give him 33 billion dollars back?

I have nothing to do with shampoo these days but earlier when I used shampoo and you must have done the same too, whenever there was a little shampoo left, we put in water and shake it enough to turn it into foam and then start using it. We are not ready to throw that away.

I am not joking but you can go Empress market and ask any shop owner there for a “toothpaste key”. He will give a device that you use when your toothpaste is going to expire. You put it on the tail of the tube and roll it until all the left over toothpaste comes out from the tube as well. Even the toothpaste folds its hands together and says, “for God’s sake, please throw me away. How much more do you want to take out of me. I am done” We are not ready to let go of that as well and he thinks we will give him back 33 billion dollars.

When a bar of soap is finishing, we don’t throw it away. We take out a new soap bar and stick it on the old one. We don’t think that we are sticking a better quality one onto lousy soap. We use them together to save money. We are the same with arranged marriages. We don’t see whether there is a match between the two but just fix them up together. And we will give back 33 billion dollars?

On 14 August (Pakistan’s independence day), we put up the flag for a week at the most after that we put it back into the drawer. Then we tie an old vest to that flag stick and use it to clean cobwebs inside the house. And he thinks we will give him……We are not ready to throw away the old vest and he thinks we will give him 33 billion dollars?

The monologue goes on to talk about the digital wallet app but that is irrelevant to the answer here.

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